I'm currently sitting at the computer in the office looking out of the window watching the absoultely awful weather outside. Not that I can see that much as it's very dark and with nearly everybody else on the road out for the evening it all seems quite dark and foreboding. But I'm here in the light and warmth listening to chicane playing away so it's actually quite peaceful and calm. Which has lead to me thinking, which I know usually never ends well but we'll get to that again in a moment.
I actually got up quite late this morning and was woken up by Grumpy in one of his cheerful moods and I mean that non sarcastically. Of course with him being retired he can get up any time he wants during the week and has lost the knowledge of how nice a lie in on a Saturday is!
It was actually not that bad weather wise this morning, but around lunchtime it started to rain and hasn't seemed to stop since. Shopping wasn't that bad even if I did have to spend lots of time searching the fridge section to find meat that didn't have a use by date of Monday!
I spent a large part of the afternoon searching through the garage sorting through all the bits and pieces of models I have in boxes because as part of this big birthday celebration they are having a 'swap shop' at work. So I guess I'll see if I can swap some stuff I don't want to stuff I do.
I watched the remake of Charlie and the choclate factory tonight, which was okay but it's definately not as good as the orginal.
If any of you have a chance head over to Nemesis's blog, as her latest post is really quite thought provoking . One of the comments did catch my eye partly for the right and wrong reasons of couse as someone did say
" The fact of the matter is, there isn't someone for everyone. At least not here in this life."
Wait thats the part of the comment I was trying to ignore, otherwise it might depress me.
This was the part I was going to comment on;
" I'm sick of hearing that women are too unapproachable, or that women hold completely ridiculous standards for the person they want to spend eternity with."
Now I for one haven't heard anybody say that. In a lot of case I think the flipside is true. I think the problem is more on the girls part, the church have these incredibly smart, beautiful, funny women and then you have us guys who can be a bit more variable say we say and we told we supposed to marry one of these women. Us, be worthy enough to marry one of them, are you joking?. I'm sure every guy at somepoint has heard the song that Turk sang in scrubs
" Not going to happen, so not gonna happen".
Of course a lot of guys can get over this very quickly and get married. Of course some of these lucky guys are also the ones who have absolute belief in themselves and no fear whatsoever of voicing their opinions or asking a girl out. Now for the guys among us who are little more lacking in the self confidence this can be a help as it shows us what girls like and a hinderance as you feel your never going to be like that. I'm also sure that none of those types of guys were ever told by the young women in their ward
" We've decided only one of you is worthy enough to become a husband, the rest of you should become used to being alone for the rest of your lives"
Now grumpy has asked previousily why don't I just act like one of these guys who are full of self confidence as they seem to succed and get married. A couple of points, firstly all of these guys are Rm's and seem to use that a pass badge to marriage. I'm not and I know that is a big minus in a lot of peoples eyes and I guess I'm going to have to deal with that. I made my bed now I'm lieing in it. Secondly although some of these guys are extremely likeable, others are just not, especially one guy who's just got married who actually said, and this is a direct quote not mine before anyone has a go at me
" Any guy who is in the church and doesn't go on a mission is retarded"
And at the time he said it, I think Engineseer was very worried I was going to deck him. Okay right sorry off track....
My point is I'm not one of these massively self confident guys and will probably never be, but I've just realised I don't mind. It's not me, I couldn't do it, bouncing around all over the place, totally non self concious. I'm me ( much more a introvert then a extrovert) and I'm just going to have to hope that, that girl is wrong and there is someone out there for me. I may not have an encyclopedic knowledge of the scriptures, I might not be in a clique, I might be rubbish at playing politics and I may be a total geek but I'm me. I need to stop being so hard on myself. This is who I am,Take it or leave it :-)
tune in tomorrow, same geek life, same geek station
you never know I might actually get a hometeaching list tomorrow,
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Well it could happen!
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5 comments:
I liked this one:
I've seen a trend in attractive women who are not married by 25, 26. Introversion and/or not emotionally giving. I've also seen a trend in women who are less than average attractive who get great husbands - extroversion/emotionally giving.
So binary, and yet so wrong!
The great problem with dating/marriage debates is that there are no experts. Let's face it, you're only successful once. Twice if you're unlucky. That will be enough for you, but is it really enough to let you lecture everyone else?
A high councillor once told me I shouldn't be too picky and said it was the golden rule of dating. I bit back the urge to ask if that was how he ended up with his wife!
thats true fraggle I never thought of it like that.
You should have asked him. I bet the look on his face would have been great :-)
Alrighty..here is a book of a comment for you.
You do need to have confidence!
From reading you, I know that you can definitely use some more confidence. (sounds like your dad thinks so too) You have this hang-up on the NON RM thing.
I will give you free therapy (yes, I am NOT licensed so take it for what it is worth)
Get over the NON RM thing. If girls know that you love the Lord and are going to be a faithful priesthood holder, they will get over it. It really isn't as big of a deal as you think it is. Take it from a returned missionary. A mission isn't for everyone! And, you don't have to keep abusing yourself over it.
You do need to get more confident. Don't go too crazy and become a self absorbed jerk, but just get comfortable.
Something I have been working on is truly feeling the love of the Lord in my life. I think this is the key to having the correct amount of self esteem.
I think you are great...There is a single girl out there who will think you are great too, but you have to believe it yourself first.
Alrighty, I am jumping off my soapbox.
Thanks for the advice alice
I would like to say 'Ditto' to what Alice said. As long as you pre-emptively exclude yourself from the running by thinking they are thinking you are somehow 'less than' because you didn't serve a mission, you won't get anywhere. And this is coming from a huge self-pre-emptor who also has confidence issues. You have been burned before by small-minded people who focus on the past and you probably will be again, but if you don't find out, you will never know and you will never move forward. It is not easy to do -- in fact I have to give myself this pep talk on a daily basis -- but if you ever want to move forward you have to try. And don't get too depressed about about the 'not someone for everyone' idea. Demographics are in your favor as a male member of the church.
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