Friday, March 10, 2006

what a difference a week makes

It's strange what a difference a week makes sometimes. Last Friday everything was okay with my life. A bit slow, in a cool job that I love, although majorly geeky and with still living at home on top of that I was well on my way to attaining the level of geek master.

This Friday? Well my family has almost completely spilt down the middle and only a few frayed pieces seem to still be holding it together. Ironically it should be a happy week as my half sister is getting married again tomorrow, but all it has proven to be so far is a catalyst. It's looks like my parents will be spiltting up. My mum intially said that she wanted sometime to think things through, but my Dad seems convinced it's all over and is 'preparing' himself to say goodbye to the rest of the family, as he that when they spilt the only person he would stay in contact with would be me, not my half sisters, my grandma or my nieces and nephews.

I've tried to stay positive and i've hoped, so desperately hoped that they would be able to work this through, but to be honest with mysself and anyone who might be reading this, I think it's all over, and I'm going to loose my 'complete family' and my home. It's worse in a way becasue my mum hasn't wanted to do anything before my sisters wedding, so I'm going to have to put on a 'happy face' tomorrow, when i really don't want to.

I don't think I've ever felt so helpless before or so confused. Watching my parents it seems like I've been watching two actors who've just taken over 'the roles' with our knowing anything about them. I know that sounds a bit extreme but that's what it's felt like.

I suppose the only thing I can do is to take things one thing at a time and see what happens.

and so it begins!

Dum! Dum! Dum! Dum!...Dum! (dramatic music)

Well the title says it all. Everybody else has been talking about this whole blogging thing and i thought I would get in on the act. Although that might sound a bit flippant I do have a lot of things going on a the moment with my life and I figured a way to vent some feelings would be a good thing. Plus if anybody is reading this chances are you don't know who I am so your not going to have any pre set judgements. Anoymity can be great sometimes can't it!