Top ten excuses

The TV Licensing people here in the UK have just released the list of the top 10 excuses that they have recieved this year for why people don't have a TV licence:

1. "A pigeon fell down the chimney and broke the aerial so I have bad reception."

2. "My 11-year-old son must have bought the TV during the night. It wasn't there when I went to bed."

3. "My payment card's been stuck in the washing machine so I can't pay."

4. "I've not paid due to my shop only accepting £5 and £10 notes and I haven't got any of those."

5. "I've not been making payments as a baby magpie flew into my house and I had to stay in and feed it until it was ok."

6. "I only use the TV to keep the horses company and one of them is blind so I should only pay half if I have to pay at all."

7. "I can't get the TV out of the box - can you help me?"

8. "My dog watches it when I'm at work to keep him company - not me."

9. "My mum told me to tell you she's not in."

10. "I've not bought a licence as I dreamt I didn't have to and the saying is you've to follow your dreams."