One thing leads to another

As long term readers will know I've recently started using statcounter a program that shows me if I'm being getting visitors to the blog. Which has proved interesting in the sense of trying to work out which visitors might be who.

The top referring blog is still Scully's, and I'm getting visitors via her blog from each coast of the USA, the middle of the USA and even Canada! The top search terms which seem to be bringing people to the blog right now are battlewagon, deffkopta and jedi lightsaber fight. So if I ever write a post about a jedi battlewagon deffkopya equipped with a lightsaber I'm sure those visitor figures will just shoot through the roof.

Not that I would ever catch up to Nemesis's viewing figures of course as I would need something like 180,000 hits in one day. Which means I'd have to come up with the mother of all uber blog posts to pull that off. Maybe I'll reveal the answers to some of the big mysteries of life. What is the secret of the bermuda triangle? What happened to the crew of the Marie celestie? Why do women go to the loo in pairs? And how is jordan popular and a multi-millionaress?

I happened to notice that I had got a referral from a old blog post off Nemesis's about a lesson she had heard someone gave regarding chastity and that they used the chewing gum metaphor. I'm still sure that the only reason this teacher survived giving that lesson is because Nemesis wasn't in it. So after re reading that old blog post of hers, I started to have a bit of a 'trawl' as it were through her blog reading some of her older posts.

I am getting somewhere with this honest;

Right so I was reading some of her older posts when I found this post she had written about a 'mormon movie' called Anxiously Engaged: A Piccadilly romance. That reminded me that I still had some DVD's that Multi-task had let me borrow to watch and guess what was in that pile?

The first thing I noticed was that this film a much bigger budget then the other mormon movies as they actually had english actors in it that I knew, including someone who used to be in the bill and the actress who used to be in Grange Hill as the head mistress. I think it was Mrs Mcclusky?

The movie itself? Well I really hope it was in no way written by a englishman as the number of sheer stereotypes was shocking.

Now as you may have guessed the plot seemed to be more or less a reharsh of taming of the shrew and with in about two minutes of meeting the younger sister Lucy I found myself wishing someone would lock her in a cupboard. Hopefully at the bottom of a very deep mine shaft.

Gemma the older sister, well I spent a large part of the film struggling to figure out just how old she was supposed to be. She was much better then the younger sister and I found myself wishing and just about yelling at the screen at the 'hero' to get his act together and realise that the older, very pretty, very intelligent one was the one who he should be going for.

Ahh Nigel, the 'bad guy', he couldn't have been more obivously the bad guy if he had been twirling a moustache and wearing a cape and hat as he grabbed the damsel and ran off with her in order to tie her to the rain road tracks. Of course knowing how the trains run around here she probably would have more then enough time to escape before the hero arrived.

Oh yes, must mention the 'hero', he's an american don't cha know? And if you couldn't tell by the accent, I'm sure the stereotypical cowboy outfit he was wearing everywhere would have given it away because he's from Montana. So he's an American don't cha know. And as he's from Montana and American he has to wear a cowboy hat. Just in case you hadn't realised he was American, and a cowbody, because he's from Montana. Oh and he has to wear the hat all the blinking time.

Just in case we hadn't grasped he's American... and a cowboy..... because it's not like that gets mentioned on a regular basis.

He also misses the mountains because he lives here in the UK where we have no mountains... no wait that's holland.

Our hero of course has to find a Husband for the older sister, which means he needs to interview a lot of guys in order to find that perfect one. And how can you do that in a short span of time. That's right we need a montage!

One montage later which was made very easy by the group of walking stereotypes he was interviewing none of whom were the least bit concerned being interviewed by a man in a cowboy hat ( they obivously needed the clue he was from Montana because he's American don't cha know) he had found the 'perfect' date. Who wanted to prove he was the stereotype of the perfect english male by using the correct language, " Is she a minger?" he asked about his prospective date proving that the writer had done a lot of research and was thus down with the lingo of the kids today.

After the one attempt at match making goes horribly wrong, he tries again and manages to set the older sister up with evil villian who used to be in the Bill and obivously had bills to pay whilst he drives up to Scotland. Now remember that might seem strange but according to hollywood you can arrive at the white cliffs of dover, get up to scotland and hardians wall and be back in Nottingham ( remember to say in best fake US nottingham accent) whilst travelling on foot so doing it in a car is a breeze.

Our hero arrives in scotland to meet with another group of walking talking stereotypes before being stranded and unable to return to London by 'the motorway being shut' which if you believe the owner of the local bed and breakfast happens on a regular basis. Because of course there is only " the motorway" running between scotland and england and if that's shut then no way to travel between them is there.

oh wait....

Never fear our hero soon returns to London very quickly once " the motorway" is reopened and finds himself stuck at work due to moustache man who obivously is in a hurry to go and kidnap another damsel in distress. He lets his fiancee know who quickly blows her top for ruining the most single important event of her life....

No, not the wedding, her trip to the donny osmond concert. And some more clever points for the writer slipping another mormon stereotype in there.

At which point our hero might finally have clicked that the rather annoying, vain little so and so he is engaged to might not be the one after all and maybe he should be looking at the smarter, pretty older sister.

Of course our hero does have a odd view in that he doesn't believe in happy ever afters which is rather strange viewpoint for someone who believes in eternal marriage.

But oh no, our hero is set up ( couldn't have been especially hard) by moustache man who after managing to do bad things all film, including moving a bowl during a bowls match " The scoundral, the cad! How very english of him," he even drinks tea which gives yet another clue to us that he must be bad as he can't be mormon, unlike our hero. Whose a cowboy, from montana, in case you hadn't picked up on that yet. Moustache man or nigel as he's called in the film, had lots of help as they called in the police from eastenders who as we all know need about six months before finally catching the bad guy.

Our hero escapes and after a good old round of fisticuffs ( we're in Britain now, so must obey the rules) takes down the bad guy and gets the right girl after all stopping her from leaving to go to Paris although he needn't have worried as she didn't seem to be on the eurostar platform and probably wouldn't have ended up on a train to Nottingham.

So they get married and hopefully live happily ever after even if our hero doesn't believe in it even if they had to throw in a gratious reference to why their not getting married in the temple first in case any American's get confused by this rather then the walking stereotypes who appear in most of the film.

As you may have guessed this film definatly not my favourite and is right at the bottom now. It could have been so funny if they had, had more British humour they didn't have to fall back on stereotypes.

oh well,

later folks