Your making me angry,

You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry, Urgghhh CHRIS SMASH!!

Okay like Peter griffin I am exaggerating a bit and I didn’t have a incredible hulk moment yesterday but I almost did last night.

After the events of yesterday which I still can’t talk about, I wasn’t in the best frame of mind (shall we say) at institute. Mind you the class was packed last night (21 people), ironically with Bro H not being there. The lesson on eternal marriage was about choosing when to marry and when to get engaged. ( the lesson title was in that order, don’t ask me why I don’t write the books). Now as long time readers may be aware the eternal marriage course tends to have one of two effects on me. I have lots of fun or I get incredibly depressed and wonder if those girls in Coalville are actually going to be proved right. Unfortunately last nights lesson proved to be the latter rather then the former and combined with everything else that has gone on lately made me wonder if somebody is out to give me a good kicking.

During the middle of the lesson we were reading a talk by President Hinckley about what you should look for in a ‘mate’, Of course every time somebody uses the term ‘mate’ in this course it sounds more like we in the middle of a David Attenborough style documentary
“ We’re here in the deep dark depths of that wilderness known as Leicester to observe a herd of YSA as they gather at one of their favoured locations”

So the teacher was asking what attributes President Hinckley had mentioned in the talk. One of the guys finally said that girls look for is a RM ( I had been braced for that one all night). One of the girls quickly countered and said it didn’t actually say that anywhere in his talk. The teacher looked at the talk and said that one of the attributes he did mention for a guy is “Honours his priesthoods responsibilities” so that did mean that guys should be a RM.

At this point I started to grab the edge of the table so hard my knuckles started to turn white and I was frantically counting to ten in my head to stop myself flipping out. I was tempted to repeat a quote once which went along the lines of “ If we are supposed to make our own interpretations and look for hidden meanings in the scriptures and talks by church leaders, the scriptures and talks would always be in riddles”. I was also angry at the implication that I haven’t honoured my priesthood responsibilities.

But after successfully keep a check on myself I went and sat in the chapel for a few minutes during the break in an effort to calm down. I was closer to giving up and leaving before the end of the class then I have ever been before. It really did feel like one kick too many and I wasn’t sure what to do. The fact the teacher was part of the high council didn’t help as that seemed his ‘interpretation’ counted for more.

I finally realised that leaving would be the worst thing to do. If I let something like that defeat me it would make (at worse) all of the other times I had been knocked down and got back up pointless. I returned to the class and saw it out, although I did disappear pretty quickly at the end of class.

I got home to find Tapdance had dropped something’s off for me including a new set of scales. So I tried them out and they work. Unfortunately they also showed that our last set of scales had gone wrong a lot earlier then we had thought and I am heavier (to begin with) then I thought. I have been losing weight, it’s just I’ve got further to go then I thought, which was depressing. I immediately found the liveliest music I could and jumped on the bike in an effort to focus my frustrations on something as I didn’t want the scales to be the final straw of the day and make me burst into a flood of tears.

I know Kitty and Bosslady would both give me a good kicking if they were here for me slipping back into bad habits (mentality wise) as they used to get really annoyed when I did that but I’ll admit I’m struggling with some things right now, but as the saying goes it always the darkest hour before the dawn and I’m sure things will get better.

Hey, I’m should try and be positive, after all they reckon there’s someone out there for everyone, so lets hope I run into mine soon. Who knows, maybe there is Females YSA geekette into GW out there somewhere? Maybe??

(and while I’m wishing I’d like a million pounds and a new car, right now both options as likely as meeting a YSA geekette who would be interested in me)

Later!