Just to reiterate there is nothing special about today in my eyes. Nothing is going on, there were no displays in lots of shop windows, there’s nothing on the radio, news sites or even on the front page of google to suggest there is anything going on today. That it all…..
Yeah I know, I didn’t believe that either and I wrote the thing. Yes V Day is here and I’m just hoping to get through the day without having to run into lots and lots of happy couples! And that would just be fate rubbing it into the nth degree! I guess it will just be me and book this evening.
Getting to institute was ‘interesting’ last night. There was fog, lots and lots of really thick fog. So of course in weather like that what do all the idiot drivers do? That’s right put the pedal right to the floor. There was a bad accident on the other side of the carriageway. I couldn’t see it (coz it was foggy) but they had shut the whole road and there were three fire engines in attendance. I could only tell that due to the shape of them I could see through the fog and the flashing blue lights which were lighting up the fog in a rather odd and ‘unearthly way’.
Of course the whole having to have a class on eternal marriage the day before V day wasn’t exactly the best way to get my mind off today, especially when there were two married couple and one engaged couple in a class of 12! Of course the class started with a comment about girls studying which lead into Bro H making a comment about how it was good for girls to come institute as they could meet Rm’s and by studying they could be on the same levels as RM’s who came back from their missions disciplined and knowledgeable which would help them when they got married. Which was the closest I have come to total despair in a while because if even Bro H is saying girls should look for Rm’s I’m in real trouble here. Maybe those girls in Coalville branch were right after all. : - (
But I’m going to try and stay positive here because I know this issue as it were is going to be make or break. If I let this one get to me and knock me down I don’t know if I’ll be able to get back up again and keep going to church as I don’t know if what self confidence I have will be able to take it. I’ll going to keep going and will just have to hope that there is another girl out there somewhere who would be able to look past the fact I’m not a RM, because I would hate for those girls in coalville branch to be proved right.
And on that rather self pitying note (I’m really struggling with that darn resolution) I’ll think I’ll leave it there. (Kitty really would be kicking me from one end of the building to the other if she knew I was in this kind of mood and was here ). I guess at the end of the day none of us know whats coming in life so I’ll just have to keep plugging away at things and hang on in there, whilst being the geek that I am to see what life brings me.
( I'll try and avoid the self pity posts from now on. As it will be past V Day I should be getting less cynical. thanks for bearing with me :-)
Tune in next time folks, same geek ramblings, same geek channel.
Later!
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10 comments:
Look,
Just go down to the florists, NOW, buy a big bunch of leftover roses for £1, and give them to the first pretty looking single girl you see on the street.
You dont have to say anything, it doenst have to mean anything, but chances are there are millions of people in the uk that are feeling as alone as you are. If you do one simple thing to make one other random person feel better, then you will have found a little bit of love on valentines day.
Seriously, try it.
A girl will forgive you for telling her you like her, but she will never forgive you if you keep it quiet.
I completely resent your institute teacher's implication that girls are spirtually behind by not going on missions. Also, don't feel bad about not being an RM. I know plenty of RMs who came back and became inactive, RMs who now live with their boyfriends, RMs who are total tools etc. Also, by the time you are in your late-ish 20s, it doesn't matter so much what you did at 20 as what you have done in the interim.
I was puking all night, hope that makes you feel better!
I know that teachers and leaders always preach the ideal, but I did read an ensign article about a chap who could not serve a full time mission because of his disability. I take it we are not suggesting that all disabled people should be shunned because they are not RMs? No of course not. The point is that the ideal is one thing, but neccessity may be another. Even "The Family" proclamation concedes that in some cases the man may not be able to be the 'bread-winner' e.g. disability again.
I know of men who have served on Bishoprics who were married in the temple and not RMs - not ideal that they didn't serve missions, but the Lord had not relegated them to the back row, had not ditched him. There is hope. The real deal is to become as good a person as you can. Pray like it all depends on the Lord and work like it all depends on you.
I would also advocate sharing some of the concerns you voice on your blog, with your Bishop. Definately recommend that one.
D rat it's very odd to see you giving such good and logical advice. You must have gotten wise in your old age :-)
the time you are in your late-ish 20s
I like to this I'm still in my mid-ish 20s. Does make me feel as old scully
I was puking all night, hope that makes you feel better!
strangly enough no :-) but thank you for the sentiment alice
I'll think about it Dan
I was referring to myself, as a girl rapidly counting down to the big 3-0 and my perception about the RM/not RM question, not trying to make you feel old.
sorry for the misunderstanding there scully. My typing was terrible. What I meant to say was
"I like to think of myself being still in my mid-ish 20s. Doesn't make me feel as old :-)
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