There's a peculiar trait to the roads round here. When the roads are quiet I can get home with barely having to stop anywhere. However when the roads are busy they do a extremely good impression of a car park. Yes as you may have guessed on my way to work this morning I got stuck in a traffic jam and a stretch of road that should take me two minutes to get through took me 25 minutes instead and of course as dictated by the great law of the universe 'sod', it was a stretch of road I 'had' to take to get to work. Ironically I had just managed to exit the stretch of road when the local radio station I was listening to finally decided to have a traffic report recommending that people avoid that stretch of road due to a accident. Well that was very useful wasn't it? Having up to date traffic reports every half an hour. Pillocks!
The morning didn't get much once I had got to work. The NMM is currently on which means there's a awful lot of extra people wandering the campus and obviously learning from the problems they had yesterday they arrived early so they could park their cars. Unfortunately this meant that a huge chunk of the staff who work here myself included couldn't find a car parking space. As I left the car park I was indicating to people coming in that there were no spaces left, but as is so often the case they still decided to go and have a look in the vain hope that maybe another empty space had appeared outta thin air. Lots of people were already parking out on the road which is a pretty death defying experience with all the lorries, vans and school buses which tend to hurtle up and down the road and even if you survive there's no guarantee that your car will.
But why do people risk parking on the road then? Well probably for one reason, that their lazy. Lazy lazy, lazy, lazy! I'm being subtle) As they only want to be a few seconds walk from the building. But where's the proof that this is laziness I hear you cry? Well there is one reason or rather 120 of them. Four minutes walk down the road is our main warehouse which has a 120 space overflow car park which every car user has access to you. It's nice, secure, no danger of having your wing mirror ripped off by a kamikaze lorry and there's even a nice pair of security guards who will watch it with the cctv cameras. Yet people won't park I there as it means they have to walk for four minutes up the road. They'd much prefer to risk the road. Hence lazy.
I finally entered the building and got the day rolling and checked the email account to discover the usual junk emails. Offers of a holiday in the sun, cut price medication, that we had won a lottery and a women from sierra Leone asking us to wisely invest £8 million dollars for her as she was about to die and wanted to leave something to charity. She failed to explain precisely why as someone from sierra Leone she had a Russian email address but I'm sure that a small oversight. So at last count I think that was 30 million dollars that we have 'won' so far this week. If only it were true we could all take the rest of the year off and still beat target . But I suppose that reality will always win out over fantasy. Because it's real!!!! :-)
Talking of fantasy verse reality, we had a lot of letters arrive for some of the guys here. I won't/can't go into details but lets just say someone took one of our books waayyyy to seriously. Which was fairly amusing as the letter sent me into a real giggling fit for a good 10 minutes. We've also had a lot of new books arrive in the main warehouse so I spent a large chunk of yesterday afternoon wandering around the building distributing samples. And what do I get for this important role for giving people samples of books which aren't out in the stores for another 2 months. Well a new job title according to the guys in direct sales. Yes they've christened me the 'Sample fairy'. Great, after all the hard work in getting the samples system set up, I get rewarded by being christened a "fairy". Great! Wonderful! Excuse me while I go and sit under a desk and cry.
Well grumpy was in his usual happy mood yesterday. He hadn't been able to find his work trousers so he had to wear a different pair to work. when I asked if he had checked under his bed, he said no and asked why. He had actually managed to forgot ( and I have no idea how) that his new bed actually had space underneath it rather then drawers. But before you jump to the obvious conclusion the trousers weren't stuck under the bed. They were actually hanging up in his wardrobe. He didn't see them however because he had hung them in front of a black shirt. So as it was black trousers hanging in front of a black shirt he didn't notice them. Because that would have actually entailed him moving stuff around rather then doing his usual technique of just looking. D'oh
Well the other thing which wasn't putting him in a good mood was his diabetes. I don't know if it's stress, or he's just not watching his sugar level as well as he could be but it does seem to be getting lower then it used to at the same point in the day. When he was cooking dinner last night he was being a bit clumsy when he was dishing it up, then he managed to forget that he had left part of dinner in the oven and left the oven on to. Fortunately I realized as I was sitting the lounge and spelt the cooking ( I.e burning) and was able to turn it off. goodness knows what would have happened if I wasn't there as he was sitting out in the garden! Of course there is another option that he's just being his usual forgetful self and is blaming it on his diabetes by way of an excuse. Which is more likely. I just hope this forgetfulness isn't genetic. He,he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he,
wait was I laughing about again? In fact wait even more, who am I? This isn't my desk, this aren't my shoes arghhhhhh!
Forge The Narrative – January 2018
5 weeks ago