Well after talking about SH yesterday I was inspired, or at least morbidly interested in finding out what other people from college had been up to so I decided to visit the Friends reunited site. There was the usual mix of marriages, engagements, births, getting the job of their dreams etc. I also found out that AM has got married as well.
Who was AM? I hear the handful of you who might read this and actually care. Well AM ( wait a second I'm getting too confused using initials all the time, I think I'll take a page out of Nemesis book and use codenames instead) or D Rat as I'll refer to him from now on ( that name isn't intended to be a insult it's actually a clue to his surname. If you knew him and know anything about History.) Well D Rat was one of my friends at college as as often happens at college we fell out over a girl who I shall refer to as Jinx.
Well Jinx was my first real love/crush. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean and all remember yours. Well D Rat was aware of this as we three you to hang around together quite a lot ( heck to be honest I think jinx knew about my feelings as well, which is why she did what she did later, but I'll get to that later) Well D Rat used to constantly 'encourage' me to bite the bullet and ask her out, while constantly going on about the legions of girls he was going out with. He kept this 'pushing yup' right until the end of our time at college. As it was the summer before going away to uni we used to hang out at each other's houses quite a lot.
Well one day Jinx and D Rat called all of her family, her best friend and me into their lounge and said they had something to announce. They had be seeing each other for 6 months and had be making up all of the people they had been 'seeing' to cover it up and jinx was also pregnant. Well my first reaction was shock, well to be honest that was my second reaction my first was to resist the urge to smack D Rat round the face. Both of their justifications for not telling me about their relationship was that 'they hadn't told anybody else', when I pointed out all of the lies they said that they had, had to do that to cover things up. When I then spoke to D Rat privately about the fact that even though he and Jinx were dating he was still 'encouraging' me, his response was that he thought I would see the funny side. I summoned up all my self control and immediately left. Well that was the last time I ever saw or spoke to him( their relationship didn't last and unfortunately jinx also lost the baby). I just couldn't deal with such a abuse of my trust ( I've really sucked at choosing friends in the past). Am I sorry about it? no not really and I hope that he enjoys a long and happy marriage. It's just if we ever cross paths again I might act on that impulse to smack him. Well you know what they say it's better to act on your feelings rather then repress them :-)
As for Jinx? Well I made a bit of a huge mistake there. I trusted her again.
She went off to a uni the year after me. She was having some real problems money wise and came to me asking to borrow a fair bit of money (well for a student, lets just say it was in three figures) and promised faithfully that as her mum was moving house she would be able to pay me back very quickly in a maximum of 6 weeks top. Six months later she shut down her email address, had changed her phone number and had moved house, so basically shut off all communication. This came after a increasing series of emails to me where after I had asked several times about when I would get the money back, she replied with some rather nasty emotionally blackmailing comments ( if I have one weakness it's that I can't deal with emotional blackmail/really personal style attacks) such as she thought as a friend I had more trust in her, obviously she trusted me more as a friend then I did her her, she had sent me Cheques but they'd gone missing in the post, etc, etc. I eventually did get some of the money back. But that's only because Mum spotted her in a supermarket and went up and grabbed her and simply told her in front of everyone " He lent you that money in good faith" and then walked away ( I can well imagine the tone Mum used, he, he) .
So it was the beginning of my final year and my best friend of the time had taken a load of my money, then cut off communication not before several nasty emails. So as you can imagine it upset + messed me up a bit at a very important time. However it's round this point that I like to think that all of my previous bad luck with friends started to be balanced out, as I became great friends with a remarkable group of people who helped me through and since then I have only had fantastic luck when it's come to friends especially with the YSA now.
Okay, I think that's enough of a flashback for today. It's interesting how the smallest thing brings back memories init?
anyway till later!
Forge The Narrative – January 2018
5 weeks ago