Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Here is the news

First up, Science news. According to scientists apparently the moon is destined to disintegrate. But before you all start running for the nearest bunker or hide under the nearest tree, this isn't due to happen for another 5 billion years. I've heard the saying " Bringing you tomorrows news today" But isn't this just a little ridiculous ? Why they thought this was urgent news I'll never know.

Another science story hitting the headlines was China destroying one of their own satellites in a test of their new anti-satellite weapon. They have been roundly critised by Russia and the USA for starting the militarization of space'. However three points they failed to mention, firstly both Russia and the US did similar tests back in the 1980s and if they haven't got some of their own missiles lying in storage somewhere they certainly have the plans, secondly the shuttle was designed to be able to undertake orbital bombing runs on Moscow and last but by no means least, Russia actually launched a military space station, complete with machine gun and orbiting mines. Why do the words POT, KETTLE and BLACK spring to mind.

The last big space news recently. The crew of the international space station jettisoned a old Russian cargo ship to make room for a new one. I mean really, is anyone surprised that interest in manned spaceflight is dropping if this is the most exciting bit of news they can come up with. It's the high tech equivalent of throwing your rubbish out, they waiting for your shopping to be delivered to you by one of those store delivery vans. Oh for the vision of 2001 to have actually come true!

Showbiz news. In a effort to convince people she isn't a racist Jade goody wants to go on a tour of India. Now maybe I'm just Bering a bit too simple here or missing the bigger 'plan', but if I had become a national hate figure in two countries, I wouldn't choose to go to the one where they were burning effigies of me. I would choose to go on Holiday somewhere quiet then sneak back later on. It's like that saying " I laugh in the face of danger, then I run and hide until it goes away'. Apparently she has also stated that with her career so badly damaged she can no longer afford to marry her boyfriend, yet she owns a £500,000 house. I don't know about anyone else but I ain't exactly feeling sorry for her over the state of her finances.

General news. Apparently a average woman spends 31 years of her life on a diet. This piece of news bought to you by the scientists from the We haven't got anything better to do university. Promotion is apparently almost as stressful as divorce. Can't comment as I don't have experience of either , boom boom! A man has been arrested for diving into a pool, so health and safety killjoys are obviously on the loose again. There's been a whole one inch of snow in some places across the country which has apparently caused chaos , and there's going to be five more inches tonight. All inhabitants of Alaska wonder what the problem is. ( seriously six inches of snow causing chaos, I remember when snow used to be measured in feet!)

People who had bought the new DVD of Doctor who in the US apparently got a bit of a surprise this week when it turned out due to a manufacturing error scenes from the Texas chainsaw massacre had been mixed in with the episode. New earth. So it cuts from the Doctor speaking to some cat 'nun's to a screaming man having his limbs removed. Well it must have the episode far more interesting. The police have finally moved in to stop looters who have been rifling through the containers which have been washed overboard from that grounded ship over the Devonshire coastline. Looters have been running off with all sorts from nappies to brand new motorbikes only stopping to talk to the TV crews. Now as most of them didn't bother to fill in the correct forms they are stealing. But never mind, I'm sure the police wouldn't be able to track them down. it's not like a large number of them stopped to be interviewed on TV and said what town they have come from........ Oh wait.


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