You can't just get good spam anymore

Like you, mr or mrs internet user I find Spam to be the bane of my life especially at work. It's uncalled for, annoying and rude. However I have noticed a somewhat degradation in the spam I've recieved recently. It's almost as if they have grown as tired of it as we have. But if their going to send me a email advertising the latest miracle drug, my pre approved loan or some woman on the far side of the world who wants to meet me before her husband and waste my time, they could at least appear as if their thought things through.

Case in point. Today I recieved a email from a man who stated and who I quote
" I am an European soldier a citizen of United Kingdom [U.K] attached to UN peacekeeping force, I am serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq, as you know insurgents everyday and car bombs are attacking us."
well I know the UK army has equipment shortages, as it appears that spell and grammer checkers are one of them.

and he continues
"We managed to move funds belonging to Saddam Hussein's family. The total amount is US$25 Million dollars in cash, mostly 100-dollar bills."
You know it's amazing how many emails we get from 'soldiers' who managed to find funds belonging to Saddam Hussains family. They can't find WMDs but apparently their knee deep in cash over there. Must have kept that quiet.

"We want to move this money to you, so that you may invest it for us and keep our share for banking. We will take 40%, my partner and I. You take the other 60%. No strings attached, just help us move it out of Iraq, Iraq is a war zone."
Thank you for clearing up the state of Iraq, seeing as I haven't seen a newspaper or news programme in the last three years. Oh wait!

"We plan on using diplomatic courier and shipping the money out in one large silver box, using diplomatic immunity."
Obivousily well connected soldier as he has diplomatic courier connections. But wait a minute thats $25 million in 100 dollar bills. That's got to be one HUGGGEEE!!! Silver box. Can you imagine that at customs? Whats the value of this item? $25 million dollars, and whats in the box? I just told you $25 million dollars!

"If you are interested I will send you the full details, my job is to find a good partner that we can trust and that will assist us. Can I trust you?"
Of course you can, and I'm sure I can trust you, random guy from the internet who I have never met before, sends emails out at random, claims to be english but seems to have great trouble with grammer and stringing sentances together. What is there possibily to be wary of??

oh wait.

You know what makes this infinately more funny and sad is there are people out there who do fall for tricks like this. You see them on the evening news, " I gave this man my bank details, £20000 and all my personal details without meeting him and I lost all my money. He seemed nice in the email though, but I now want to warn everyone else about these scams" Yes all those people who have no common sense whatsoever

I was also checked our spam today, by our reckoning 47 african princes and 60 african kings have been killed so far this year, who all left large sums of money that their relatives can't get out of the country without 'my' help. Strangely enough all of these emails come from relatives who are stuck in damp, squalid and horrible refugee camps. Which all seem to have internet connections.

funny that,

later!