Okay, last joke like that . Honest : -) well maybe not.
Yes peeps, or rather the one or two of you who actually read this blog and don't leave any comment ! I'm back. Well I'm sure someone out there might be wondering why my blog posting has become a bit erratic. Two reasons, the first that the computers at work we can use to access the internet have been extremely busy, secondly we currently have no internet connection at home. Why? Well that's a bit of a long story but I will get to that in a minute.
First off some random stuff. The Driver clan finally have a moving date. They are moving on the 12th April. I have done enough to graduate from institute. At last...... SW is now married and due to that becomes SG, unless I can think of a better codename. Any suggestions anyone?
Well institute was good last night. Although convert, bless her still only has two settings. On and louder. I'm interested to see how well Broth M will cope next week as he'll be teaching the class as Bro H is off somewhere. But the biggest surprise of the evening was when the door opened at the back of the class and none other then the one and only Fraggle walked in! Fraggle was back and ready to rock.. ( oops there I go again with the jokes). He had some time off from work so decided to come visit. Then through a rather roundabout way ( it will take too long to explain) he ended coming back to Engineseers house and stayed there last night. Cordeila, Social and myself all went round after institutes, so I didn't get home till 'stupid a clock' this morning which in turn means I've been feeling shattered all day. But hey it was worth it!
anyway that's all for today. As they say the time is far spent, there is little remaining. I'll do a better post tomorrow.
later!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Funny GCSE Exam Answers
1. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the
Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their
children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount
Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After
his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
5. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans
because they never stayed in one place for very long.
6. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the
fiddle to them.
7. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the
futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote
literature.
8. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while
standing on his son's head.
9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he
invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised
the world with a 100 foot clipper.
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money
and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and
hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example
of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote
Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise
Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
13. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's
Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people
died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all
this.
14. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in
their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post
without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay
for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented
Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two
singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity
by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself
cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
15. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure
domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to
keep bare arms.
16. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother
died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater
and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The
believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This
ruined Booth's career.
17. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire
invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
18. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the
autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
19. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he
kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most
famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half
Italian and half English. He was very large.
20. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and
catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but
since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
21. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event
which ended her reign.
22. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by
machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring
up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a
hundred men.
23. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a
naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered
radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
24. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an
anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their
children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount
Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
4. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After
his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
5. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans
because they never stayed in one place for very long.
6. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the
fiddle to them.
7. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the
futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote
literature.
8. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while
standing on his son's head.
9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."
10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the
circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he
invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised
the world with a 100 foot clipper.
11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was
born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money
and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and
hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example
of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote
Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise
Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
13. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's
Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people
died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all
this.
14. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in
their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post
without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay
for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented
Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two
singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity
by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself
cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
15. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure
domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to
keep bare arms.
16. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother
died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own
hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation
Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater
and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The
believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This
ruined Booth's career.
17. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire
invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.
18. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the
autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
19. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large
number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he
kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most
famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half
Italian and half English. He was very large.
20. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and
catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but
since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.
21. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years.
She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event
which ended her reign.
22. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and
inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by
machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of river to spring
up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a
hundred men.
23. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a
naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered
radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
24. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an
anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I was curious. Since I'm not a cat, that's not dangerous
Well seeing as it's been nearly a whole two weeks since I last posted something I thought I might as well get round to posting something. As you do, etc, etc, insert nonsensical quip here.... and so forth.
Well I had to go to my favorite place in the whole wide world yesterday. Can you guess where kiddies??? Yes that's right the Dentists and unlike most of the other times I've been this appointment was really, really late in the afternoon which meant I had the whole afternoon to stress about things, and it didn't help that after psyching myself up to just have a filling he decided to some other work at the same time which I was expecting, which set me off a bit. I don't care what anybody else says, it doesn't matter how many times they tell you to relax, if you don't like having your mouth forced wide open, and a suction thingy, drill and another persons figures shoved into your mouth, it ain't gonna help!!!! But anyway that's the last I have to see of that place for the next six months. Ya!!!!
I've halfway through season 2 of House at the moment. I wish I could be that sarcastic and forward with everyone, but seeing as I'm nowhere near as smart as house, not a doctor and don't have a team of three minions, I would hear the letter P and the numbers 4 and 5 very, very quickly.
Benefits of free digital TV. Some of the channels are having to resort to real old shows to fill in the gaps. which means that the crystal maze is back on. Yaaaahhhh!!!!! And it's still showing the series with Richard o Brien rather then that guy who came after him.
Grumpy has retired. And finally seems a lot happier. Heck if he keeps going this way, I'm not going to be able to call him grumpy for much longer and I'm going to have to come up with a better codename for him. He keeps claiming that he's still keeping himself very busy all day. Although I guess I'm just going to have to believe him, unless I try getting a version of a 'nanny cam' to check up on him. 'Grumpy cam', has a interesting ring to it doesn't it? No? yeah I didn't think so either, oh well :-) I guess I'll just mark that one as interesting idea, but leave it alone!!
The Driver Clan still don't know when their moving. The builders are still dragging their heels on things. At this rate it will be quicker for them to buy a house on Mars. They would still get there before this other house is ready. Anyway I don't know if I've mentioned this but the driver Clan will be expanding as of August. Yes I'm becoming a uncle. Again! For the 13th time, no wait got that wrong for the 14th time. How JR remembers all of her grandkids ( 40) I'll never know.
anyway, thats all for now, or rather I can't think of anything else which wouldn't consist of lots of rambling.
later.
Well I had to go to my favorite place in the whole wide world yesterday. Can you guess where kiddies??? Yes that's right the Dentists and unlike most of the other times I've been this appointment was really, really late in the afternoon which meant I had the whole afternoon to stress about things, and it didn't help that after psyching myself up to just have a filling he decided to some other work at the same time which I was expecting, which set me off a bit. I don't care what anybody else says, it doesn't matter how many times they tell you to relax, if you don't like having your mouth forced wide open, and a suction thingy, drill and another persons figures shoved into your mouth, it ain't gonna help!!!! But anyway that's the last I have to see of that place for the next six months. Ya!!!!
I've halfway through season 2 of House at the moment. I wish I could be that sarcastic and forward with everyone, but seeing as I'm nowhere near as smart as house, not a doctor and don't have a team of three minions, I would hear the letter P and the numbers 4 and 5 very, very quickly.
Benefits of free digital TV. Some of the channels are having to resort to real old shows to fill in the gaps. which means that the crystal maze is back on. Yaaaahhhh!!!!! And it's still showing the series with Richard o Brien rather then that guy who came after him.
Grumpy has retired. And finally seems a lot happier. Heck if he keeps going this way, I'm not going to be able to call him grumpy for much longer and I'm going to have to come up with a better codename for him. He keeps claiming that he's still keeping himself very busy all day. Although I guess I'm just going to have to believe him, unless I try getting a version of a 'nanny cam' to check up on him. 'Grumpy cam', has a interesting ring to it doesn't it? No? yeah I didn't think so either, oh well :-) I guess I'll just mark that one as interesting idea, but leave it alone!!
The Driver Clan still don't know when their moving. The builders are still dragging their heels on things. At this rate it will be quicker for them to buy a house on Mars. They would still get there before this other house is ready. Anyway I don't know if I've mentioned this but the driver Clan will be expanding as of August. Yes I'm becoming a uncle. Again! For the 13th time, no wait got that wrong for the 14th time. How JR remembers all of her grandkids ( 40) I'll never know.
anyway, thats all for now, or rather I can't think of anything else which wouldn't consist of lots of rambling.
later.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Oh my Stars, They killed........
The chocolate machine. It's gone, gone, GONE!!!! and been replaced by a.. sofa. Yes You've heard that right the chocolate vending machine has been removed from our building at work and in it's place there is a sofa. Yes a sofa. Well I'm confused....
And that's not the only thing to be killed off recently in the past couple of days. For any of you who may not have noticed this story in the papers or on CNN. They've killed Captain America. He's dead, and despite the inevitable conspiracy theories that he isn't really Dead, it seems he is going to stay dead. The biggest indicator being that the next issue of the captain America comic begins with his autopsy. Now I'm no medical expert but I understand that autopsy's are generally not performed on people who are still alive!! But then again he's a comic book character which means he was never alive to begin with in the real sense, just the comic sense, and no he's dead in the comic sense, but in the real sense as he was never alive or dead in the real sense, but was only alive in the comic sense but has now............ and I've confused myself yet again.
I had one of those nights again last night, while trying to sleep. It took me ages to switch off enough to go to sleep, then round about 5.30ish, I woke up and when I tried to go back to sleep I only seemed to manage around 10 - 15 minutes before waking up again. I finally gave up at about quarter to seven. But I forgot to turn my alarm off, so when it did go off it really did seem like like that was some 'force' rubbing salt in the wounds saying, hey you've been up for twenty minutes more then you had to be. Can you guess how well the rest of your days going to be. and before you ask the inevitable question, why do you keep writing this blog and hardly anybody reads it? Arggh, no wait wrong inevitable question, lets try that again" How have you managed to get through the day without falling asleep?" All I have to say to that is " Sugar! and lots of it"
We're hurrying around doing a few last minutes jobs for the event at the weekend. Which we hopefully go well, no I'm going to try to be more positive. It will go well, well wrong :-) Boom, boom! There's nothing like approaching a task with a positive attitude, and that was nothing like approaching the task with a positive attitude. he, he, he, he, he,
Wait, Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering??
Well, yes I am Chris, but what precisely is a fashionable color for elephant ribbon this month??
Okay, I'm starting to think that theres a chance I might have had just a tad too much sugar today.
later.
And that's not the only thing to be killed off recently in the past couple of days. For any of you who may not have noticed this story in the papers or on CNN. They've killed Captain America. He's dead, and despite the inevitable conspiracy theories that he isn't really Dead, it seems he is going to stay dead. The biggest indicator being that the next issue of the captain America comic begins with his autopsy. Now I'm no medical expert but I understand that autopsy's are generally not performed on people who are still alive!! But then again he's a comic book character which means he was never alive to begin with in the real sense, just the comic sense, and no he's dead in the comic sense, but in the real sense as he was never alive or dead in the real sense, but was only alive in the comic sense but has now............ and I've confused myself yet again.
I had one of those nights again last night, while trying to sleep. It took me ages to switch off enough to go to sleep, then round about 5.30ish, I woke up and when I tried to go back to sleep I only seemed to manage around 10 - 15 minutes before waking up again. I finally gave up at about quarter to seven. But I forgot to turn my alarm off, so when it did go off it really did seem like like that was some 'force' rubbing salt in the wounds saying, hey you've been up for twenty minutes more then you had to be. Can you guess how well the rest of your days going to be. and before you ask the inevitable question, why do you keep writing this blog and hardly anybody reads it? Arggh, no wait wrong inevitable question, lets try that again" How have you managed to get through the day without falling asleep?" All I have to say to that is " Sugar! and lots of it"
We're hurrying around doing a few last minutes jobs for the event at the weekend. Which we hopefully go well, no I'm going to try to be more positive. It will go well, well wrong :-) Boom, boom! There's nothing like approaching a task with a positive attitude, and that was nothing like approaching the task with a positive attitude. he, he, he, he, he,
Wait, Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering??
Well, yes I am Chris, but what precisely is a fashionable color for elephant ribbon this month??
Okay, I'm starting to think that theres a chance I might have had just a tad too much sugar today.
later.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Where has all the time gone?
I'm seriously considering the idea that someone has been stealing 'time', because it can't be March already. I mean seriously where has all the time gone!!!
Okay rant over. I'm not sure what it was a rant at, maybe my extreme slackness and inability to get anything constructive done at the moment. Who knows?
So what have I been up to? Well firstly I still haven't been able to shake this cold of mine, although it does seem to have changed from a blocked up nose to me being really flemmy in. It's not nice at all. I think we have a new supplier for our vending machines at work, because Time outs have appeared in the machines, as well as mini toblerones and jaffa cakes strangely enough. But they also starting selling white chocolate (I.e milky bars/buttons) which is really, really annoying but not in a bad way. Oh no, It's annoying in a " I've now suddenly got a real think for this stuff again, mist resist, must resssisssttt!!
I've off to a event in Bristol at the weekend with Work. Which should be fun. I'm taking a book along to see if I can get it signed for merchanicus. If I can get it signed I figure it will make his month :-)
Grumpy retires on Friday. So that should hopefully bring the shopping bill down a bit as I don't have to buy all those rolls and ready meals for his lunches. (£10 just for five meals and sufficient rolls for each days lunch). He seems okay, but I'm not sure if he's totally figured out what he's going to do with himself. But shock, horror, how Spanish inquistionally unexpected he is talking about buying himself some DVDs. Quick someone call Guinness! This has got to be a record he's actually spending money on himself!
After weeks of not going to the movies I went twice in rapid succession. I went to see Hot fuzz with Engineseer, CP who shall henceforth be known as Social and J who I really can't think of a codename for at the moment ( Nemesis's leaving party was held at her house, so at least Nemesis knows who it is, although I know there are at least a couple more people who read this blog but never leave comments. Yes Technik I'm looking at you. In fact everyone look at technik, everyone point at him!" The film was very, very funny and I heartily recommend it. Especially to Nemesis as she has experience of English humour and might actually get a lot of the jokes. It was quite nice after the film because we stood around for nearly a hour talking outside the cinema which was fun. I suppose for want of a better term there does seem to have been a change in the 'mood/spirit' at YSA and things seem to be finally coming back together again and we seem to be consolidating ourselves. I'm not sure what the catalyst was for this, but there is no way I'm going to complain about it!
The second film was ghost rider. I so didn't like it. It wasn't that it was a bad film, it was a okay film, if a bit predictable, but it so could have been such a better film, in could have been great! but I think the main trouble was the CGI isn't quite there enough to the degree when you can forget that his flaming skull isn't real 'ala Gollum from LOTR', you couldn't suspend your disbelief. But oh well, there so many more good films on the way. And even better there geek style films!
Maybe Time flying by isn't such a bad thing after all.
Bring it on
Okay rant over. I'm not sure what it was a rant at, maybe my extreme slackness and inability to get anything constructive done at the moment. Who knows?
So what have I been up to? Well firstly I still haven't been able to shake this cold of mine, although it does seem to have changed from a blocked up nose to me being really flemmy in. It's not nice at all. I think we have a new supplier for our vending machines at work, because Time outs have appeared in the machines, as well as mini toblerones and jaffa cakes strangely enough. But they also starting selling white chocolate (I.e milky bars/buttons) which is really, really annoying but not in a bad way. Oh no, It's annoying in a " I've now suddenly got a real think for this stuff again, mist resist, must resssisssttt!!
I've off to a event in Bristol at the weekend with Work. Which should be fun. I'm taking a book along to see if I can get it signed for merchanicus. If I can get it signed I figure it will make his month :-)
Grumpy retires on Friday. So that should hopefully bring the shopping bill down a bit as I don't have to buy all those rolls and ready meals for his lunches. (£10 just for five meals and sufficient rolls for each days lunch). He seems okay, but I'm not sure if he's totally figured out what he's going to do with himself. But shock, horror, how Spanish inquistionally unexpected he is talking about buying himself some DVDs. Quick someone call Guinness! This has got to be a record he's actually spending money on himself!
After weeks of not going to the movies I went twice in rapid succession. I went to see Hot fuzz with Engineseer, CP who shall henceforth be known as Social and J who I really can't think of a codename for at the moment ( Nemesis's leaving party was held at her house, so at least Nemesis knows who it is, although I know there are at least a couple more people who read this blog but never leave comments. Yes Technik I'm looking at you. In fact everyone look at technik, everyone point at him!" The film was very, very funny and I heartily recommend it. Especially to Nemesis as she has experience of English humour and might actually get a lot of the jokes. It was quite nice after the film because we stood around for nearly a hour talking outside the cinema which was fun. I suppose for want of a better term there does seem to have been a change in the 'mood/spirit' at YSA and things seem to be finally coming back together again and we seem to be consolidating ourselves. I'm not sure what the catalyst was for this, but there is no way I'm going to complain about it!
The second film was ghost rider. I so didn't like it. It wasn't that it was a bad film, it was a okay film, if a bit predictable, but it so could have been such a better film, in could have been great! but I think the main trouble was the CGI isn't quite there enough to the degree when you can forget that his flaming skull isn't real 'ala Gollum from LOTR', you couldn't suspend your disbelief. But oh well, there so many more good films on the way. And even better there geek style films!
Maybe Time flying by isn't such a bad thing after all.
Bring it on
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
